While I respect people who divulge a lot of personal stuff online (and in turn get a lot of virtual support from all you awesome people), that’s never been me. But when I’ve known someone all but 4 years of my life & within the last year I’ve never felt so disconnected, I don’t know what else to do but get it out.

I don’t have a diary, so take this as my few & far between “Dear Diary” entry.

I’m gonna switch voices & speak directly to the person in question:

We’ve had a friendship longer than any I’ve ever known. Maybe that came about from forced circumstances, but in 27 years of knowing you, I never felt it was because we were “supposed to be friends.” However, in the last year, we’ve been putting on a show of friendship, a show I’m going along with not because I want to but because something within you has changed & now you are a stranger.

The last year has been crazy for both of us for different reasons, but I came out of it ready to live a new life, a life I’ve needed to live for a while but was too scared of the hurdles I had to go through to get there…until recently.

You dealt with a lot too, but you came out of it so judgemental & bitter, I don’t even know how to walk on eggshells around you anymore.

We went through different shit simultaneously & I’m sure we felt similar stress/pain. But here on the other side, through all the hurdles, you continue to judge me.

I didn’t ask to fall into happiness. All I wanted to do was get myself out of a situation well past its prime & take the first steps to reconnect with the pure me.

The LAST thing I expected was to find some pretty damn good happiness so fast. But I did. Trust me, it shocks me more than anyone.

But instead of being happy for me (as I would for you), you harbor such an intense bitterness (jealousy?) that you are a stranger.

A stranger who shares the most personal of involuntary connections, and that is immeasurably sad.